1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:07,841
Cheyenne. Van, come on.
Your birthing class starts in 15 minutes.
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,844
You wanna get there early
so you can have time to relax.
3
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:11,886
Move it!
4
00:00:14,222 --> 00:00:16,558
Mom, Van's trying to weenie out on me.
5
00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,892
Little late for that, isn't it?
6
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:21,813
Why don't you wanna go?
7
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,649
I'm already taking
basic math and weight lifting.
8
00:00:24,649 --> 00:00:27,652
Another tough class
could really mess up my G.P.A.
9
00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:30,905
They don't grade in this class.
10
00:00:30,905 --> 00:00:34,534
Oh, yeah. That's what my counselor said
when he tricked me into taking math.
11
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,746
Come on, Van. This is right up your alley.
12
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,081
Free food and pictures of naked ladies.
13
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,085
You have to go. I'm gonna be counting
on you in the delivery room.
14
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,296
But, I'm not even sure I belong there.
15
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,548
I mean, what if I faint? Or throw up?
16
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:50,175
Gross. You better not.
17
00:00:50,675 --> 00:00:54,304
He'll do just fine. When have you
ever known Van to waste food?
18
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,557
I just don't see why
I'm the one who has to go.
19
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,477
[chuckles] Because you did this.
20
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,274
Cheer up, Van. You're gonna love
this class. It's gonna be fun.
21
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:11,362
[woman] No moment
in the birth process is as miraculous
22
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,948
as when the baby's head first appears.
23
00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:15,742
Cool!
24
00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:17,952
Ew!
25
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,414
[theme song playing]
26
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:25,084
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
27
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:27,504
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
28
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:31,841
{\an8}♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
29
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:34,552
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
30
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,930
{\an8}♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
31
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:41,893
{\an8}♪ With gentle hands
And the heart of a fighter ♪
32
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:47,816
♪ I'm a survivor ♪
33
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:59,369
{\an8}Oh, there you are, Kyra.
That was the day you were born.
34
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:01,079
{\an8}Why do I look like a conehead?
35
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,125
{\an8}You get that from your father's side.
36
00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:09,838
{\an8}Hey. How was childbirth class?
37
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:11,005
{\an8}It rocked!
38
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,218
{\an8}You wouldn't believe
what a female body can do.
39
00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:18,638
{\an8}Remind me. It's been a while.
40
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,517
{\an8}First, there's this thing called a cervix.
41
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,060
{\an8}- It's right where--
- We know, Van.
42
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,815
{\an8}No, let him go.
I'm dying to see where his is.
43
00:02:30,733 --> 00:02:32,026
{\an8}Unfortunately, I don't have one.
44
00:02:32,026 --> 00:02:34,988
{\an8}But if I did,
it would start out this size.
45
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,532
{\an8}And by the time the baby's
ready to come out...
46
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,826
[gasps] It's this big!
47
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,830
Hello, Mommy.
48
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:48,376
- Stop it.
- Ooh, Mommy's mad.
49
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,671
Don't make her come in there and get you.
50
00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:55,675
{\an8}Can we stop talking about
childbirth, please?
51
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,094
{\an8}Just take the drugs, honey.
52
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,765
{\an8}Oh, how was your game, Jake?
53
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,810
{\an8}Great. I only gave up ten goals.
54
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,687
{\an8}Oh, that's wonderful, honey.
55
00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:11,190
{\an8}Obviously, neither one of you
fully understand the game of soccer.
56
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:16,029
{\an8}Hello, Brock. I never congratulated you
on your wedding.
57
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,823
{\an8}Just wanted to make sure you knew that.
58
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:21,784
{\an8}What's that sound?
59
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:25,204
Oh, it's your last husband
still a-runnin'.
60
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:28,291
Where you going?
61
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,960
Oh, B.J. and I were
settin' up the nursery.
62
00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,545
I thought I'd pick up the old crib.
63
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,549
Crib? Wait a minute.
You wanna take our crib?
64
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,260
The one our three children slept in?
65
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,678
It's in the garage, right?
66
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:44,766
"Kyra? Jake? Could you give me
a moment with your father?"
67
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:50,396
It is so cute
that they know when to get lost.
68
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,816
It's too bad you don't. [chuckles]
69
00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,862
I was saving that crib for our grandchild.
70
00:03:57,862 --> 00:04:00,531
Well, Cheyenne doesn't want it,
and I built it.
71
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,825
Cheyenne, can you
come in here for a second?
72
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,955
Honey, don't you wanna use
your crib for the baby?
73
00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:11,251
I don't know. I mean, it's all old
and it's getting all dusty in the garage.
74
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:15,046
- But, if you want me to--
- No. It's up to you.
75
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,256
Okay.
76
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,173
Nah.
77
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,762
Oh. Hey, Coach, did you
ever take childbirth classes?
78
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,932
Oh, you don't need those.
The doctors and nurses do all the work.
79
00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:28,977
Yes, I have so many wonderful pictures
80
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,604
of me being comforted
by orderly number two.
81
00:04:32,689 --> 00:04:35,024
You know, our instructor
said that a good coach
82
00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:37,443
makes a huge difference
in the delivery room.
83
00:04:37,443 --> 00:04:40,029
Trust me, the only thing
for the father to do
84
00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:42,782
is jiggle the coins
in his pocket and smile like an idiot.
85
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:45,368
I bet you're good at that.
86
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,624
Van is enjoying his class.
87
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,918
He knows that watching
the birth of his child
88
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,920
is gonna be the highlight of his life.
89
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:59,465
Unlike you, he understands
that childbirth is a miracle.
90
00:04:59,465 --> 00:05:01,926
Oh, I know. I've been through
three miracles.
91
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:05,388
You do remember that during miracle
number three, you were on the 18th hole?
92
00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:08,808
Of course I remember. I birdied that hole.
93
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,104
Just do me a favor.
94
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:16,065
Van's excited about seeing his daughter
coming into the world.
95
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,483
Try not to squash that.
96
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,861
Hey, I'm as sensitive as the next guy.
97
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,280
So, the crib?
98
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,407
Just take it.
99
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:29,704
Don't you ever just wanna haul off
and hit him?
100
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,832
What good would that do?
101
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,042
It would hurt him.
102
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:38,421
Aw, that stuff doesn't bother me anymore.
103
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:43,134
He wants to use your crib
for his demon spawn.
104
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,680
Well, you heard Cheyenne.
She doesn't want the crib.
105
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:51,851
Honey, this isn't about Cheyenne.
This is about you.
106
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:55,271
You keep holding it in,
somebody's gonna get hurt.
107
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,483
I just hope it's Brock
and I am there to see it.
108
00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:06,616
Okay. I'm off to my birthing class.
109
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,326
Forgetting anything, sport?
110
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:12,955
Three pillows. Stopwatch. Birthing manual.
111
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:15,041
I'll give you a little hint.
112
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:21,130
Cheyenne, hurry up! I don't wanna be late.
113
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,467
I have been studying.
I wanna be a great coach.
114
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,594
Go ahead, ask me what the afterbirth is.
115
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,221
Okay. What's the afterbirth?
116
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,890
When everybody congratulates
me and I pass out cigars.
117
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,811
Oh, actually, that was a joke.
118
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:39,524
No. The afterbirth is when
the placenta is expelled from the uterus.
119
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:44,695
I'm done.
120
00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,323
Cheyenne! Come on!
121
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:52,370
Hey, if we're late, we're gonna end up
with the bad mat.
122
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,457
- Van, I'm not going.
- You're supposed to call me coach.
123
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,126
Coach, I'm not going.
124
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:02,088
I have a huge paper due tomorrow.
I forgot all about it.
125
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,674
- But what about our birthing class?
- I'm sorry.
126
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,259
I should go study for my test.
127
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,678
I-- Wait. I thought you had a paper due.
128
00:07:09,428 --> 00:07:13,349
Yeah. It's... It's, um, it's a test... paper.
129
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:19,689
You know, a take-home test paper.
[chuckles] I should get started.
130
00:07:21,941 --> 00:07:23,067
Oh, man.
131
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,319
What's wrong?
132
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,239
Well, Cheyenne's got
a paper due and can't go.
133
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:31,200
How does everyone else
juggle high school and birthing classes?
134
00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,121
They don't start juggling
till after high school.
135
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,667
The teacher was gonna pass out
real rubber babies today.
136
00:07:43,337 --> 00:07:45,798
Well, you can still go.
You can take notes for Cheyenne.
137
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:50,595
No. A coach without a mommy's just stupid.
I guess I'll miss the class too.
138
00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:52,013
Okay.
139
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,140
Unless...
140
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,104
Will you be my mommy?
141
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:07,945
Okay. Mommies and coaches,
please find a comfortable spot.
142
00:08:09,071 --> 00:08:11,407
Didn't you have
a different mommy last time?
143
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,620
His mommy's got a paper due.
I'm his mommy's mommy.
144
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,289
- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.
145
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:20,958
Excuse me.
146
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,252
[both] What are you doing here?
147
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,963
Oh, Reba. What a treat.
148
00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:29,550
You're not pregnant, are you?
149
00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:33,221
No, I'm still looking
for the right married man.
150
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,893
I'm standing in for Cheyenne.
What's your excuse?
151
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:41,562
Do I need an excuse
to come to child-birthing class?
152
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:44,148
Well, you've got plenty of excuses
for getting out of it.
153
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:47,026
Um, you all know each other?
154
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:51,072
It's a long and painful story
for which I received no epidural.
155
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,993
Okay. Um, let's begin.
156
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:58,746
Coaches, grab a baby from the baby bin.
157
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,301
[exhales]
158
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,264
Mrs. H., I know this is a little awkward.
159
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,057
No, it's not awkward. Get down there.
160
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:23,062
No, no. You see, the way it works is
the mommy lies down on the mat.
161
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:26,148
Van, I've already been
to the mat three times.
162
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,735
Now, get down there
and try to remember everything
163
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:33,114
because you're gonna be
the one telling Cheyenne about it later.
164
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,908
I hope none of my
friends see me like this.
165
00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:37,451
Nobody's gonna make fun of you.
166
00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,329
- Hey, look at Van. He's the mom.
- [laughing]
167
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,375
Which is great.
168
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:49,880
First, we're going to begin
with some deep, cleansing breaths.
169
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,798
[breathes deeply]
170
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:53,843
You will use these during
the beginning stages of labor
171
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,636
to help you through the pain.
172
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:58,931
Now, as you transition to your...
173
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,349
[breathes rapidly] ...breaths,
174
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,311
you're going to feel
the contractions quicken
175
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,854
and the pain intensify.
176
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:05,813
[breathing rapidly]
177
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,565
Easy, Van. Pace yourself.
178
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:11,110
Visualize your cervix stretching,
179
00:10:11,110 --> 00:10:14,155
stretching and stretching
180
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,908
as you push the baby
through your birth canal.
181
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:19,910
[cries out]
182
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,669
[exhales] Man, being the girl's hard.
183
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:31,964
No picnic being the man either.
184
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:34,467
So you've been through childbirth before?
185
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,802
Three times a papa. I've seen it all.
186
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,847
Well, since you're obviously
the veteran here,
187
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:42,516
why don't you share
some of your experience with us?
188
00:10:42,516 --> 00:10:43,976
Well, all right. I will.
189
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,561
This oughta be rich.
190
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:50,066
You know, I have to be
honest with you all, I...
191
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,277
I didn't take classes
for my first three kids.
192
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,947
But when I was putting together
the new baby's crib today,
193
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,492
it dawned on me how lucky I am.
194
00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,536
Because I have another chance
to do this right.
195
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:07,333
Watching the birth of this child is
gonna be the highlight of my life.
196
00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:11,587
I want you to know, sweetheart,
I'll be there for you.
197
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,048
I'm not gonna miss
a second of this miracle.
198
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,300
- [woman] Aww.
- [applause]
199
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,302
Thank you. Thanks.
200
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:19,804
[grunts]
201
00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:33,275
Show me how you hit Brock.
With the uppercut
202
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,069
or a right hook or a sucker punch?
203
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,987
Please tell me you sucker-punched him.
204
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,199
Well, it was sort of like
a combination between
205
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,284
a baseball and a wood-chopping swing.
206
00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:44,161
Whack! Oh, it felt great!
207
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,873
Boy, now I can see why people get
in the ring and pound on each other.
208
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,045
It was exhilarating!
209
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:56,382
Boy, if Brock was standing
right there, I'd hit him again. [laughs]
210
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,842
You hit Daddy?
211
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:02,012
Jake. Honey, what are you doing up?
Shouldn't you be in bed?
212
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:05,391
It's 5:30. You hit Daddy?
213
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:09,770
Oh, sweetie. Uh, hitting's... hitting's bad.
214
00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:11,480
Uh, we don't hit in this family.
215
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,274
Uh...
216
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,610
Honey, run and go get your pajamas on.
217
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:18,988
I know it's not dark now,
but it soon will be.
218
00:12:22,032 --> 00:12:23,075
Oh, my God.
219
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:26,412
I hit the father of my children.
220
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:28,080
I used a baby as a weapon.
221
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,040
You go with what you got.
222
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:36,297
I've never hit anybody before.
That's not my style.
223
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,299
I'm the one that's always in control.
224
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,552
You only hit him once. That's control.
225
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,388
I've got to apologize.
226
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:45,598
Why would you do that?
227
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,433
Because what I did was wrong.
228
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,769
Of course you were wrong,
but you never, ever admit it.
229
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:53,772
Hello, Barbra Jean. Is Brock there?
230
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:56,066
I don't wanna talk to you.
231
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,362
Well, that's fine. I don't wanna talk
to you either. I wanna talk to Brock.
232
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:03,407
Well, you can't. He's in the hospital.
233
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,036
Brock's in the hospital.
234
00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:10,664
You sure know how to swing a baby.
235
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,339
Oh, my God, Marissa. This is it.
236
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:19,798
I love it. This is the color.
237
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,011
-"Champink."
- [keys rattling]
238
00:13:24,011 --> 00:13:25,429
- Oh, gotta go.
- [beeps]
239
00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,936
Oh, hi, Van.
I didn't even hear you drive up.
240
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,396
I'm just... so busy working on my paper.
241
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,150
You will never believe
what happened in class.
242
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:42,613
Oh, Van, I really can't talk right now.
I'm up to here with my paper.
243
00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:47,743
- Your mom hit your dad.
- Tell me everything.
244
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,539
She coldcocked him with one
of our practice babies.
245
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:52,915
His head almost fell off.
246
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,709
The baby's, not your dad's.
247
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:59,296
- Oh, my God. Is Dad okay?
- Oh, he's fine. He's fine.
248
00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:02,466
He used the pain-management
breathing technique.
249
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:04,426
All the moms were really impressed.
250
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,012
That's unbelievable.
251
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:09,807
I would've gone if I'd known
it was gonna be that interesting.
252
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,892
What about your test paper?
253
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:17,147
Well, I mean, if I... if I didn't have
a paper, which... which I do. [chuckles]
254
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,610
You know, tonight's class
really opened my eyes.
255
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,238
Lying there on the mat
with my knees up by my ears,
256
00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,033
waiting for my cervix to dilate,
257
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,537
I just couldn't help thinking,
258
00:14:32,746 --> 00:14:35,040
"I am so glad I don't have a cervix."
259
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,168
Cheyenne, you're amazing.
260
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,298
- I am?
- Yeah. Well, not yet. But you will be.
261
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:45,175
I mean, we saw more movies tonight,
262
00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:49,221
and every time a baby came out
of somebody, I thought, "Wow!
263
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,848
Cheyenne's gonna be doing that."
264
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,349
- Okay--
- And I'm gonna be with you
265
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:55,895
every step of the way
holding your hand through the pain
266
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,022
and the sweat and the screaming.
267
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,568
- Great. Thanks, honey.
- No.
268
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,196
[kisses] Thank you.
269
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:15,915
[man] What are you in for?
270
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:18,542
All in all, It's been quite a day.
271
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:22,338
First, I get beat up
in birthing class by my ex-wife.
272
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:25,215
Then, I'm carrying the crib
into the baby's room with my current wife,
273
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,343
she drops the dang thing on my toe.
274
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:32,056
Don't... Don't make me laugh.
[laughs heartily] Oh, don't make me laugh.
275
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,142
I just got my stomach stapled last week.
276
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:38,020
So which wife are you in here for?
277
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,606
The crib dropper. Oh, here she is now.
278
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:44,735
Hey, sweetie. I found
the insurance stuff in the condo,
279
00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,363
and I just finished
filling out all the forms.
280
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,574
I love writing "Mrs. Dr. Brock Hart."
281
00:15:50,574 --> 00:15:52,785
Honey, can you find out
what's taking so long?
282
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,912
They were supposed to
X-ray my toe an hour ago.
283
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,038
I already asked.
284
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,540
They said toes get low priority.
285
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:02,461
Oh, I feel so terrible about what I did.
286
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,839
Is there anything else
I can do for ya? Are you hungry?
287
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,092
Fred, you want a pizza?
288
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,885
Okay, that's not funny.
289
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,682
Extra cheese for me and get Fred a juice.
290
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:15,933
Right away.
291
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,727
Oh, and honey, I'm kind of cold.
Could you cover me up?
292
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:21,230
Oh, yeah, you bet, sweetie.
293
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,065
- Okay.
- [groans]
294
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,444
- And, uh, fluff my pillow.
- I'm on it. Stat.
295
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:29,989
Pizza, sweetie?
296
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:32,324
Sorry. I'm gone.
297
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,580
Man, you are really working her.
298
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,250
Hey, my foot hurts.
299
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,090
How's the fake paper going?
300
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,592
Do you know everything?
301
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:51,593
Pretty much.
302
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:56,098
You're freaked out about
this baby thing, aren't you?
303
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,560
Yeah, I'm freaked out.
Wouldn't you? What if I'm not ready?
304
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,855
What if I'm never ready?
I mean, what if I don't have it in me?
305
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,356
Oh. It's in you.
306
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:09,069
Cheyenne, let me tell you a little story.
307
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:11,155
Have you ever heard of
the Lenni-Lenape Indians?
308
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:13,532
Yes.
309
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:20,539
Anyway. There was
a Lenni-Lenape woman named Moonka.
310
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:23,667
One night, she wandered away
from her tribe in search of water.
311
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:27,087
- As she squatted by a stream--
- I hate the word squat.
312
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:34,261
Stay with me. As she squatted by a stream,
she suddenly went into labor.
313
00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:38,140
So, alone in the woods,
she delivered her baby all by herself.
314
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:41,518
- And do you know who that baby is today?
- Who?
315
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,437
- Cher.
- Really?
316
00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:45,147
No. I made the whole thing up.
317
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:46,982
Then who was it?
318
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:56,116
The point is, your body
already knows how to give birth.
319
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,536
You can stop worrying.
Everything's gonna work out.
320
00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:00,704
You really think so?
321
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,041
If you have one ounce
of Mom in you, you'll do fine.
322
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:06,960
Thanks, Kyra.
323
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,005
Cher. [scoffs]
324
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:19,431
You already had your X-rays.
Why don't you go on home?
325
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,142
When you're done.
326
00:18:24,269 --> 00:18:25,687
Brock, are you all right?
327
00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:29,399
B.J. told me you were in the hospital.
I can't believe I hit you that hard.
328
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,568
So you're not mad at me anymore?
329
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,029
Of course not. I feel terrible.
330
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:35,989
So, what'd I do, crack a rib?
331
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,202
Well, I don't know.
They haven't done the X-rays yet.
332
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:42,663
- Wait. I thought you said they're gonna--
- Go home, Fred.
333
00:18:44,498 --> 00:18:48,544
Hey there, cutie. In about six weeks,
I'm gonna be 100 pounds lighter.
334
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,379
- Maybe you and I could--
- Go home, Fred.
335
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,635
I don't know why I snapped today.
336
00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:02,015
It's just that... The last place
I expected to see you was in that class.
337
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,601
Well, I'm definitely
regretting that decision.
338
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,856
When I saw you standin'
in front of all those people,
339
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,567
pledging to be a good husband
and a good father,
340
00:19:12,442 --> 00:19:13,485
I just kept thinking,
341
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,655
"Where was that guy when we were married?"
342
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,617
What were we, your practice family?
343
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:25,706
Oh look, Reba. I know I made mistakes.
344
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:29,042
That's why I wanna be better
this time around.
345
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,961
But that just makes things worse for you
346
00:19:30,961 --> 00:19:32,880
and I feel terrible about that.
347
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:36,550
I repeat, where was that guy
when we were married?
348
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,305
Hey, if I knew how to fix this, I would.
349
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,848
But I don't know what to do.
350
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,016
Tell me what to do.
351
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,685
What am I supposed to say?
352
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:52,649
I can't tell you not to be a better father
to your new child.
353
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:56,612
I can't tell you to be a lousy husband
to Barbra Jean.
354
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,572
No matter how much I'd like to.
355
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,618
That's what's so frustrating
about all this.
356
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:06,413
And I can't tell you
not to be a better man.
357
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:10,709
But you've got to quit
rubbing my nose in it.
358
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:12,878
You're right.
359
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,423
I was a real jerk for saying those things
in front of you.
360
00:20:17,799 --> 00:20:19,259
Heck, I deserved to be hit.
361
00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,138
Dad-blame your hide.
362
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,725
I'm sorry.
363
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,939
I'm sorry I hurt ya.
364
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:34,316
- [snaps]
- [cries out]
365
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,661
This is why you're in here?
366
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,039
Not because of me?
367
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,753
Barbra Jean dropped the crib on my toe.
368
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:57,589
Unbelievable.
369
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,008
Just when I think
you're becoming a better man,
370
00:21:00,008 --> 00:21:01,718
you pull something like this.
371
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,389
Oh! Where is a plastic baby
when you need one?
372
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:10,227
[cries out]
373
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,781
[closing theme music playing]